Streatham Hill - you couldn't make it up

It is believed that the Romans were the first to settle here, during the construction of a road from London to the Sussex coast. The name is derived from the Saxon 'streat', meaning street and 'ham' meaning dwelling (or bad actor). It became a natural stopping-off point on journeys between London and Croydon, where the Archbishops of Canterbury had a palace (now Carpets 'R' Us).

Streatham Hill station was opened in 1856, making the area a desirable residence for wealthy City merchants. I'd just like to point out here that Streatham Hill was the first station to be opened in the area. Streatham and Streatham Common were added over the following 12 years. I hope that clears things up once and for all: the others are mere pretenders.

In November 1951, Patrick Galvani opened the UK’s first supermarket right opposite Streatham Hill station. His Express Service Store was the first in his chain of Premier Stores. Is it just me, or should that first store have been called Premier? No? This is the problem when Italians try to speak French. But then Patrick's not a very Italian first-name, is it?

Dr Samuel Johnson, compiler of the first English dictionary, was a regular visitor to Streatham between 1766 and 1782, where he stayed with brewing family, the Thrales, during the summer months. He took of the mineral water to overcome his gout – ironic, since it was probably going on the piss that caused it. Dr Johnson Avenue runs across Tooting Common, which used to be part of the Thrales' estate. What are the odds of there being a nearby road bearing the exact same name as him?

There was a toll bar at the NW corner of the Thrales's park. Apparently the guard once shot at the Chancellor, Lord Thurlow and Pitt the Younger because their carriage didn’t stop to pay the toll. And you thought 21st Century traffic wardens were bastards, eh?

Streatham was famous for its spa waters, discovered in 1659, which were sold fresh every morning in St Paul's Churchyard, Temple Bar and the Royal Exchange. Apparently they were three times more effective than Epsom waters. Even today, the mains water is so hard that it has a distinctly granular texture and I have to scrape the limescale off my body after my matinal shower.

Famous and infamous inhabitants of Streatham Hill

	Sir Henry Tate, sugar magnate and philanthropist
	Naomi Campbell
	V S Naipal
	Roger Moore (not the best 007, admittedly)
	Paul Merton
	June Whitfield, comedy actress
	Dennis Wheatley, horror writer
	Cynthia Payne, high-class madam
	Richard Reid, shoe bomber
	Floella Benjamin, TV presenter, actress, businesswoman, and Chancellor the University of Exeter
	David Jacobs, TV presenter
	Glen Cornick, founder-member of Jethro Tull
	Donald McGill, comic/saucy postcard artist (his postcard "Do you like Kippling?" "I don't know, you naughty boy, I've never kippled!" holds the world record, having sold over 6,000,000 copies.
	William Dyce, Pre-Raphaelite painter
	Sir Arnold White, Queen Victoria’s solicitor
	Dr Arthur Oxley, doctor to Princess Beatrice Charles Robertson, State Page to Queen Victoria
	William Saunders, MP and newspaper proprietor
	Verdi, the Italian composer (okay, he was only here on holiday)
	Mark Bostridge, Whitbread-shortlisted biographer and critic
	...and his older brother, Ian (CBE), the tenor
	Fred Appleby, a dentist who – despite being dead – still holds the record for the longest-standing track event record of all time. His time 01:20:04.6 time for a 15-mile race stood for 35 years and 29 days. Big respect for the man, who gets a mention because he's a fellow marathon-runner. He represented Britain at the 1908 Olympics but had to drop out after 20 miles due to blisters. Who didn't see that coming?

[By the way, did you you see what I did there? I started the list with a sugar magnate and finished with a dentist. That's why I'm a writer and you are a reader.]

During my researches I discovered numerous miscellaneous others I could have mentioned, including the editor of Wisden's. What the public fails to appreciate is that the so-called 'gentrification' of Streatham in the last decade is nothing of the sort – it is barely even a start of a return to form of what was once one of London's premier neighbourhoods.

Why did Streatham go downhill?

In my view, it was partly because no accommodation was built for the spa at Streatham. Big mistake. And cheap housing for the aspiring middle-class was introduced in the 1920s and '30s. Many just aspired, then expired. Streatham Hill was then known as 'the West End of South London' with two cinemas and three or four theatres and dance halls, one of which was the largest in London. Today just one cinema remains, there's a bingo hall (I'm looking at the back of it as I write) and a nightclub (which we're hoping will be demolished to make way for apartments). The bowling alley closed in 2006. It's my theory that its past as a place of entertainment was what led to it becoming a 'comedy place name'.

More claims to fame

In 2006, the scenes from blockbuster movie of Ian McEwan's acclaimed novel Atonement were filmed in Lydhurst Avenue, Streatham Hill.

We Streatham-ites were proud that the last full public service by the old Routemaster bus was the 159 from Marble Arch to Streatham.

Sadly, it went out of service on December 9th 2005. I'm proud to say that I was on the last one.  Whilst plenty of tourists and enthusiasts got on at Oxford Circus for the journey back, I was an ordinary Joe on my way from Streatham Hill (Bingo Hall stop) to Brixton.  Yes, I did shed a tear when I got off.  These were great workhorses and five minutes faster getting up from Brixton in the rush hour because they didn't have to stop for as long as the new buses.

London to Brighton Veteran Car Rally

And another thing Streatham Hill's good for is viewing the London to Brighton Veteran Car Rally. On the first Sunday in November, over 500 veteran (i.e. pre-1905) cars travel on the A23 through Streatham Hill. Here are a couple of videos from 2007. The second one includes an interview with a poor chap whose car has broken down just a couple of miles from the start.