Appreciating Assets

Appreciating Assets

Appreciating Assets

Appreciating Assets is a fast-paced comedy about what happens when a socially inept professional can’t control his lust. “…your dialogue and characterisation were both spot on and, moreover, you made us laugh”
J.K. Rowling’s agent
Sexually explicit content Download the first three chapters free

Ian Bourne’s girlfriend of four years leaves him without so much as a goodbye. About to turn thirty, he’s obsessed by the thought of the sex he missed in his youth, he believes this is his last chance to get it. All he has to do is lose some weight and learn some social skills. It can’t be that difficult, can it?

When he’s given a fraud case to investigate in the city where he spent his student years, he seizes the chance to track down and try to seduce the women he thinks he could have slept with. And if he can crack the case, he’ll make junior partner.

Ian may be a great forensic accountant, but there was a reason he never managed to sleep around at university. His attempts at seduction are frustrated… and then he commits a grave sexual misdemeanour. Discredited and publicly humiliated, he has no choice but to continue the investigation alone.

Many men regret the sex they never had (Poet Laureate John Betjeman famously being one). Men who’ve read this novel identify strongly with Ian’s desires, whilst women have found it an entertaining insight into the depths – and treacherous shallows – of the male psyche.

Written for an MA in Creative Writing, Appreciating Assets was entered for a competition by the Christopher Little Literary Agency (J.K. Rowling’s agent). Here’s what they said: “Yours was the only entry which the eight of us here enjoyed unreservedly! We thought your dialogue and characterisation were both spot on and, moreover, you made us laugh.” Sadly, they were looking for something ‘literary’ for their list. Length: c.92,000 words, which is about 314 standard novel pages. But it on Amazon using the link on the left.

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